on my mind

for the first time since returning to school 
and beginning my adventure as a montessori teacher,
i have come to question myself.
to question my abilities.
to question my patience.
to question how likely it is that i will be able to teach these children.
how can i teach them the importance of trust and honesty?
integrity; helping and service to others; patience.
potty training,
how to clean up after spilling water – 
those i can handle.
it is the deeper lessons;
those i fear. 
if i feel this lost and overwhelmed,
how can i possibly help them?
upon observing me this week,
a parent asked a fellow teacher if i was ready?
if i was doing okay?
how were my stress levels?
it hurt.
while i can confidently say i strive to do my best,
it seems my best just isn’t quite up to par.
it’s a lot to juggle right now.
just thought i would share what is on my mind right now.
my state of mind may or may not be altered by 
a pancake-induced food coma. 
the best kind of food comas if you ask me!

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